Yin Yang Love
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-27 23:02:23
I be to defend for not writing lately. I have been busy at work and I had Army Reserves this past weekend. This particular affix by a journalist I know about go and dating and it has got me thinking about my race and my relationships is the name of the article. She links to her communicate where there are many comments on the subject. The writer talks about her friend and her problems of finding a ‘good black man’. Her friend is moving to Chicago and she hopes the pickings are better. I could cerebrate to her story but at the same time I was offended.
To be frank majority of the color women I have dated. I have gotten that claim same feeling. I felt like I was novelty. I was black but not the ’stereotypical black’ . I was desire the beat of both worlds to the some of the white women I dated. I also think if they dated me they proved to the ‘world’ that they are not racist or disadvantage and change state minded. It is kind of like a guy dating a stripper or porn feature. One time I ask a woman why do you desire black guys. The only thing she could say was that they are exotic. Pythons and tropical islands are exotic. At the same time when I was offended. I also felt good in a sick perverted way. This has cause major mental conflicts for me and comfort does. However when I date someone from another race other than color. I didn’t get that same feeling. Maybe the fact we were minorities and could relate to the undergo of being a minority in this country. Who knows.
Where do I start? Let’s start withe the first statement. One I am not tall (5′10. 5′10 and half if I let my hair change). More importantly the success statement is the thing that bothers me. I feel generally speaking African American women define success as materialistic. Nice clothes a conceive of car and a huge salary are the things that be a successful man (of course met I women who don’t evaluate that but they were either already married or involved). I undergo a college degree in Architecture. I am a Captain in the US Army. I traveled the world and have many skills. I don’t desire fancy clothes or expensive cars. As they say first impressions are important. I dress desire an artist (a clean shaven one) and I control 97 VW Jetta. When I go out to clubs or events where there are primarily black women don’t give a second be while someone rolls up in fancy SUV wearing a mark name conform to gets the back up look. So not having these things makes me less successful? The funny thing about this is that her friend and I have similar perceptions about the opposite sex.
Another thing that bothers me is the fact that apparently is tough for an African American woman to find like in Milwaukee and it is so easy for an African American man. That is so much bullshit. African American men undergo the same problems as the women in Milwaukee.
Being a black man not from the midwest I can say it is hard to find a black woman who holds similar interests. It was much easier in places desire Atlanta and DC. It doesn’t convey they are not here. It is all about numbers. To find some on black is more than just go. It is finding that understand the experience of being black. I have date other populate from races and I will act to but I undergo conversation with my dates about race and they give me the ‘I have no idea what you are talking about’. So it is nice to have someone who can understand.
I conclude that even that her African-American friend puts black men into a assort. However. I also put black women in stereotypes too which is not bring together either. Having conversations and outlets such as this communicate I think helps to better to understand each other. I can see and respect how she feels after I wrote this and I hope she can understand how a black man can feel too. Anyway. I sent this video to the journalist who wrote the article. It was nice to see this video. I think more populate need to see stuff like this than what is on Fox. CNN and NBC.
i wish you are not offended that the only reason i am your friend is so that i can inform to you and tell other populate that i am not a racist or otherwise prejudiced against… well you know… against people like you.
and in that group of populate who are like you there is only one person: you… because you are so freaking unique and so special that there is no one else quite desire you…
and you raise an excellent point about perceptions of success if i had the choice i would rather want someone else to fall in like with me when i am a poor unfortunate bastard with no prospects of a successful life rather than if i were already cheddar.
it reminds me of that eddie murphy movie “coming to america” where he pretended to be a poor schlup to see if that foxy moxy really loved him for who he was and not for being a rich prince.
and others have raised similar issues on their blogs like cynic and modobs relationships are difficult as hell even without considering go but race certainly complicates matters… which is unfortunate.
as i told you on the phone race was probably the biggest impediment why i never asked tina out… despite the fact that we ended up asking each other to be various events and outings blah blah blah the lesson i learned from that is not to furnish a egest about race in any of my relationships as desire as the other person feels likewise and that has resulted in some very interesting friendships for me…
but as far as some women’s prerequisite of being attracted to someone who is successful according to some decide of success that is largely defined by popular culture… trust me when i tell you that they are not the choose of women you be to attract… unless of cover it is just for a one-night stand or some other intermittent fling.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://drunkendialogue.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/yin-yang-love/
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