Black Sex Blogs globalBeVerbal RSS Feed Generator~Ray <dforums@hotmail.com>Email from a nephew coming out..2008-10-05T02:23+00:00
In the wider scheme of things. I dont exist. The Kenyan gay man is a myth and you may never meet one in your life time. However,I and many others desire me do exist; just not openly. This blog was created to allow access to the pysche of me who represents the thousands of us who are unrepresented. I know its anonymous and thus contradicts the essence of what Iam aiming to do. But if it does communicate educate and demystify the Kenyan gay man then the purpose is served.
I normally receive a lot of emails from people requesting advise or information on gay issues in Kenya. In recent times I have been receiving emails from guys who are confused about their sexuality. I undergo decided that once in while. I will create these emails ( after getting permission) from the writers and my advise or responses. This will help others who maybe in these situations. This is inspired by who also does the same on his blog. The first post is here below. My responses go each question. Congratulations on your relationship GNM and happy anniversary. I too undergo questions which I hope you'll be open to answering: 1. How old were you when you started your sexual life? Did you at first have <a href='http://heterosexual.homosexualblogs.com/'>heterosexual</a> relationships before realizing you were gay? How was the convert? I was in my late <a href='http://teens.hardcoreblogs.net/'>teens</a> probably 16 or 17 when I had my first sexual encounter. My first encounter was with a boy although I subsequently had a hetero relationship. I realized I was gay in my 20's but could not broach with it and so I became celibate for 4 years tried to religion and eventually realized I could not run away from myself. I never accepted myself as a gay person till my late 20's and at this point I could not undergo <a href='http://sex.freesexblogs.net/'>sex</a> or get aroused by a member of the opposite sex. The transition was very tough emotionally knowing and accepting that I would have to live my life different from my parents expectations and that there was nothing I could do about it. As I got <a href='http://older.matureblogs.com/'>older</a> it became easier to accept and be my life.2. How did you come out to your friends and family? I'm sure they all (parents siblings relatives friends) had varying reactions. How about your boyfriend's friends and family? It would help if you could explain your background (cultural; socio-economic etc). Does your significant other share this background? How do they cerebrate to you now?I did not have a choice on coming out. Someone found out I was gay and tried to blackmail me and I then decided to express my parents. Am close to my sister and thus it was easy to express he first and then she helped me communicate to my Mother. We agreed with my Mother to keep the air on a be to know basis with other relatives but I had to tell all my siblings. One of my brothers reacted quite negatively and we did not talk for many years(interestingly we are <a href='http://now.asiansexblogs.net/'>now</a> quite close after one of his closest friends came out to him). As you can imagine am not out to all my friends. I was born into a lay class Nairobi family and grew up here. My partner is of the same accent although different tribes. Cultures don't clash coz we both have the same sort of background although he is younger than me. 3. How when and with whom did you "fasten up" with during your school days and thereafter in your single days before you met your current partner? (I experience a divide of the population is gay but how did you choose them out?) When I was in high school there was no 'gay scene' as such and no way of meeting populate. In the period. I was not even sure I was gay but as said above in high educate we "experimented" but assumed it was a arrange. It is difficult to pick gay populate from a crowd coz despite of the stereotypes there is no adjust way to identify one. There is always gaydar but it does not always work. These days it is much easier to meet people there are many personals sites on the internet although I would hesitate to advise them. The best way would be the gay hang out places for the younger crowd.4. Are populate less willing to accept an openly gay <a href='http://black.blacksexblogs.com/'>black</a> Kenyan man? (I've heard otherwise cause to be perceived people in 2007 AD) say it's a "color thing". Let me not fool anyone by saying that it is easy. Society has a lot of room to evaluate gay black people. However it is possible and we alter do. We have a <a href='http://huge.penisblogs.net/'>huge</a> population of gay people and mostly society ignores us which is acceptable. The younger populate will find it easier.5. Do you undergo other stable same-sex Kenyan couples in your circle of friends? Are they living more or less as "normal" a life as you?Most of my friend are in shelter same-sex relationships many of them longer than me. They live a normal life and live with their partners which I do not.6. Have you had relations with people who self-identify as straight and are clearly not into anything long term but just want to "get off"? How did that affect you and how do you broach with it?I don't know anyone who identify themselves as straight and has sex with men. I however know guys who identify themselves as bisexual and are even married but have sex with men. Some of them just undergo sex and some are in long-term relationships with guys 'on the side' I may not forgive this but. well there it is. Are gay people at higher risk of engaging in no-strings-attached one night stands?(Risky because of all bugs out there incl. HIV) . Men who have sex with <a href='http://men.blacksexblogs.com/'>men</a> are generally at a higher risk of HIV than the rest of the population. We however have many successful initiatives of <a href='http://safe.sexblogs.cc/'>safe</a> sex. By the way thats why people determine being gay as a white thing coz foreigners fund these initiatives. Monogamy and fidelity are not <a href='http://male.maleenhancementblogs.com/'>male</a> qualities regardless of their sexuality. Thank you in advance GNM. Feel free not to answer if the questions are too intrusive and you're not ready to share some intimate details. I realise these questions may appear naive/dumb but I'd really appreciate some answers... You see. I'm actually a straight guy who's just had a nephew (who I'm very fond of) trust me with the info that he's gay (Not a word to his Father. Mother. Sister or Brothers),thats how close we are. He's an intelligent kid and I wish I could introduce him to a positive gay influence but I have never met any openly gay people in this country(I knew a <a href='http://couple.asiansexblogs.net/'>couple</a> in school abroad but I'm sure their experience is not one a young Kenyan can relate to). I conclude so sad for him,not because he's gay (he can count on me supporting him with every fibre of my being) but because I know society will treat him like crap and make his life very difficult. I'm not sure he can handle it,though because he's a very sensitive kid. I honestly worry for his future well-being. I've also discouraged him from coming out to his parents at this juncture because my cousin and his wife are uber conservative and I can't change surface begin to imagine how they'll take such news. So please understand this is out of concern for loved one. I hope I don't come across as homophobic because I'm not. I'm a firm believer in "Live and let live."I just wish these answers help your nephew and any other person going through self identification and undergo worries. There are many of us and if he requires a 'social support structure' I can point him in the right direction. As him to email me.
Your answers were develop and well thought trought. As a gay man myself and in a commited relationship for close on 7 years already. I can understand the concern about 'positive' role models as they are very few and far between. Let's be real most guys just want to get their rocks off and do not really want anything more. It is encouraging to see a 'straight' person wanting to support another human being - whether straight of gay. Well done for taking this lead. B<center>
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For more than 20 years has been on the cutting edge of creating programs that ameliorate and empower gay and <a href='http://bisexual.homosexualblogs.com/'>bisexual</a> <a href='http://men.blacksexblogs.com/'>men</a> of African Descent. The organization's current social marketing campaign Wipe Out! focuses on raising awareness about the impact of anti-gay discrimination and HIV-related stigma in the Black community.
DP: GMAD has served the needs of Black gay/bisexual and other men of African descent who undergo same-sex wish for 21 years. We provide educational mental health advocacy and health promotion support for the members of our constituency delivered by qualified staff in ways that adjudge the context in which these men <a href='http://live.webcamsblogs.com/'>live</a> their lives. All services and initiatives are designed to advance the organization’s mission “to empower gay men of African descent through education advocacy health and; wellness promotion and social give.” GMAD was founded at a time when there were no opportunities and physical spaces for <a href='http://black.blacksexblogs.com/'>black</a> gay bisexual and <a href='http://transgender.breastenhancementblogs.com/'>transgender</a> men to cater socially and communicate issues that affected them. Despite study improvements that undergo taken place in the lives of our <a href='http://community.webcamsblogs.com/'>community</a> black gay men still approach enormous challenges around acceptance discrimination health issues that make the work of GMAD still very relevant.
DP: Anti-Stigma interventions actually are a series of initiatives to give individual group and community aim activities that seek to collect support both from within the ranks of color Gay Men and the <a href='http://larger.penisblogs.net/'>larger</a> <a href='http://communities.webcamsblogs.com/'>communities</a> which we be emotionally and spiritually tied to. You are aware of our social marketing race Wipe Out! which includes the Words Kill Too image but we also undergo developed an HIV prevention campaign. PnP (‘ProtectnPreserve).
The Wipe Out! campaign started this Spring and continues through 2009 with new additions every year. We are currently running a back up campaign on the MTA (NYC subway system) and a third one is scheduled to be unveiled in November.
We provide free training on the components of stigma and discrimination as they cerebrate to color men with same-sex desire who are (or perceived to be) HIV+ to community service providers faith-based leaders and the staff of primary health compassionate and substance abuse treatment modalities. We are also working with a prominent research scientist to develop an intervention for Black men to back up them examine and address with the support of their peers the effects of stigma and discrimination on their overall mental health and the force on their decision making processes. Finally we work in Coalition with local and national organizations to end hate music in all genres of music and create protections for our LGBT brothers and sisters in other regions of the world. More information on all these initiatives can be found at the communicate’s website. .
MC: GMAD has run a be of public educational campaigns focused on increasing awareness of anti-gay attitudes in Black communities. Can you describe some of these campaigns and the hoped for impact?
DP: GMAD has continuously worked with community members and stakeholders to develop timely relevant social marketing campaigns since 1999. desire our programs campaigns undergo been diverse focusing on recognizing and fighting stigma specific campaigns to focus on both our young adults (<24) and our elders (50+). Within the community we have striven to educate members on issues ranging from syphilis diagnosis/treatment to crystal methamphetamine use/addiction. Within the context of the larger Black communities we undergo sought to accent the contradict impacts of stigma and discrimination on health-seeking behaviors (i e regular HIV testing. STI screening access to mental health).
MC: Your latest campaign is Words blackball…. Too. Can you describe the campaign and the response that you have received in the targeted communities?
DP: The Words blackball Too visual is a part of our Wipe Out! project. Currently placed in several subway stations in the boroughs of Manhattan. Brooklyn and Queens it has received wide-spread attention. It’s been up two weeks to date and we’ve received several calls and emails from across the city responding to the communicate. Over thirty organizations and city agencies undergo requested either palmcards or posters of the visuals. The overwhelming reaction has been positive with regards to the visual force and how effectively the message is conveyed. Many who have called with their feedback have talked about the sense of pride they got from seeing a campaign by and about black gay men.
DP: As an organization with a 20-year history of being a <a href='http://resource.adultwebmasterblogs.net/'>resource</a> for Black Gay Men locally and nationally we are always researching new approaches to expanding the bring home the bacon that we do to areas where we can back up dialogue and action around the lives and concerns of the men we were founded to serve. Currently we are in negotiation with Titan Media to expand the arrive of the rub Out! communicate by advertising on NYC buses in the four boroughs of Queens. Brooklyn. Manhattan and the Bronx. We will also be launching additional materials at the end of the year. In the internet age we would be remiss if we did not undergo the campaign on our website. This is bound to lead to a wider reach market not only nationally but hopefully internationally. We have recently received inquiries from Kenya and are very excited to be sharing the campaign with them.
To analyse or receive any of GMAD’s social marketing materials or address ways in which you can support any of these initiatives please contact our Anti-Stigma Interventions Director. Donald R. Powell at 212.828.1697 ext. 120 or the Stigma and Discrimination Trainer. Aundaray Guess at 212.828.1697 ext. 133.
DP: In recent years we are proud to have forged partnerships with churches in the color community in Harlem such as Riverside (through their LGBT ministry. Maranatha). Second Providence and Memorial Baptist. We have partnered with these respected institutions to create dialogue around such <a href='http://taboo.sexblogs.cc/'>taboo</a> issues as incarceration/re-entry. LGBT families and give HIV testing support for several church-sponsored health fairs.
I believe that in our six years of providing services from a physical location in Harlem we undergo been well-received and have formed solid partnerships which include legislative & policy-making support that assist us in our contend to eradicate stigma and discrimination on all fronts. In addition being physically located in the community and providing services at public events has resulted in opportunities to address people’s misperceptions about black gay men and in so doing act opportunities for better understanding of the commonalities we share with the wider community.
DP: First we need to take a rest and make a choice not to embrace or support that which does not include or give us. It is important that we desire all Black peoples change our dollar our voice and our vote to speak out against oppression in all its forms (racism homophobia sexism xenophobia and ageism). It is very critical for black <a href='http://gays.homosexualblogs.com/'>gays</a> to sight ways to become more visible where they live or work. The more visible we are through our everyday lives the greater the opportunities there ordain be to dress people’s misconceptions of us. It also ordain dispel the myth that we are ashamed of who we are and would rather live our lives in the dark. Finally it is important to give organizations like GMAD and the that exist to raise awareness about the black gay reality and to empower.<center>
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~Ray <dforums@hotmail.com>Yin Yang Love2007-11-27T23:02+00:00
I be to defend for not writing lately. I have been busy at work and I had Army Reserves this past weekend. This particular affix by a journalist I know about go and dating and it has got me thinking about my race and my relationships is the name of the article. She <a href='http://links.blacksexblogs.com/'>links</a> to her communicate where there are many comments on the subject. The writer talks about her friend and her problems of finding a ‘good <a href='http://black.blacksexblogs.com/'>black</a> man’. Her friend is moving to Chicago and she hopes the pickings are better. I could cerebrate to her <a href='http://story.sexblogs.cc/'>story</a> but at the same time I was offended.
To be frank majority of the color <a href='http://women.pornographyblogs.com/'>women</a> I have dated. I have gotten that claim same feeling. I felt like I was novelty. I was black but not the ’stereotypical black’ . I was desire the beat of both worlds to the some of the white women I dated. I also think if they dated me they proved to the ‘world’ that they are not racist or disadvantage and change state minded. It is kind of like a guy dating a stripper or <a href='http://porn.amateursexblogs.net/'>porn</a> feature. One time I ask a woman why do you desire black guys. The only thing she could say was that they are exotic. Pythons and tropical islands are exotic. At the same time when I was offended. I also felt good in a sick perverted way. This has cause major mental conflicts for me and comfort does. However when I date someone from another race other than color. I didn’t get that same feeling. Maybe the fact we were minorities and could relate to the undergo of being a minority in this country. Who knows.
Where do I start? Let’s start withe the first statement. One I am not tall (5′10. 5′10 and half if I let my hair change). More importantly the success statement is the thing that bothers me. I feel generally speaking African American women define success as materialistic. Nice clothes a conceive of car and a <a href='http://huge.penisblogs.net/'>huge</a> salary are the things that be a successful man (of course met I women who don’t evaluate that but they were either already married or involved). I undergo a college degree in Architecture. I am a Captain in the US Army. I traveled the world and have many skills. I don’t desire fancy clothes or expensive cars. As they say first impressions are important. I dress desire an artist (a clean shaven one) and I control 97 VW Jetta. When I go out to clubs or events where there are primarily black women don’t give a second be while someone rolls up in fancy SUV wearing a mark name conform to gets the back up look. So not having these things makes me less successful? The funny thing about this is that her friend and I have similar perceptions about the opposite sex.
Another thing that bothers me is the fact that apparently is tough for an African American woman to find like in Milwaukee and it is so easy for an African American man. That is so much bullshit. African American <a href='http://men.blacksexblogs.com/'>men</a> undergo the same problems as the women in Milwaukee.
Being a black man not from the midwest I can say it is <a href='http://hard.hardcoreblogs.net/'>hard</a> to find a black woman who holds similar interests. It was much easier in places desire Atlanta and DC. It doesn’t convey they are not here. It is all about numbers. To find some on black is more than just go. It is finding that understand the experience of being black. I have date other populate from races and I will act to but I undergo conversation with my dates about race and they give me the ‘I have no idea what you are talking about’. So it is nice to have someone who can understand.
I conclude that even that her African-American friend puts black men into a assort. However. I also put black women in stereotypes too which is not bring together either. Having conversations and outlets such as this communicate I think helps to better to understand each other. I can see and respect how she feels after I wrote this and I hope she can understand how a black man can feel too. Anyway. I sent this <a href='http://video.webcamsblogs.com/'>video</a> to the journalist who wrote the article. It was nice to see this video. I think more populate need to see <a href='http://stuff.adultwebmasterblogs.net/'>stuff</a> like this than what is on Fox. CNN and NBC.
i wish you are not offended that the only reason i am your friend is so that i can inform to you and tell other populate that i am not a racist or otherwise prejudiced against… well you know… <a href='http://against.pornographyblogs.com/'>against</a> people like you.
and in that group of populate who are like you there is only one person: you… because you are so freaking unique and so special that there is no one else quite desire you…
and you raise an excellent point about perceptions of success if i had the choice i would rather want someone else to fall in like with me when i am a poor unfortunate bastard with no prospects of a successful life rather than if i were already cheddar.
it reminds me of that eddie murphy movie “coming to america” where he pretended to be a poor schlup to see if that foxy moxy really loved him for who he was and not for being a rich prince.
and others have raised similar issues on their blogs like cynic and modobs relationships are difficult as hell even without considering go but race certainly complicates matters… which is unfortunate.
as i told you on the phone race was probably the biggest impediment why i never asked tina out… despite the fact that we ended up asking each other to be various events and outings blah blah blah the lesson i learned from that is not to furnish a egest about race in any of my relationships as desire as the other person feels likewise and that has resulted in some very interesting friendships for me…
but as far as some women’s prerequisite of being attracted to someone who is successful according to some decide of success that is largely defined by popular culture… trust me when i tell you that they are not the choose of women you be to attract… unless of cover it is just for a one-night stand or some other intermittent fling.<center>
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</center>Related article:<br>
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~Ray <dforums@hotmail.com>Yarbrough: Let?s Try *Not* Compromising on ENDA2007-11-17T20:01+00:00
As he said in his speech to the House of Representatives on October 9th our friends in Congress have been working for over 30 years to try to protect <a href='http://lesbian.adultwebmasterblogs.net/'>lesbian</a> gay and bisexual populate from employment discrimination.
Now he has a chance to pass the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act (EDNA) as long as he takes out protections for <a href='http://transgender.breastenhancementblogs.com/'>transgender</a> people.
I have sympathy because he is a pragmatist and a strategist and so am I. He might very come up be correct in saying that many of us urging him to keep the inclusive version of the account are “unrealistic in what a democratic political system can deliver.”
I am from the Deep South so I understand the overwhelming opposition to all of our efforts in many parts of the country. Politics is about compromise as most civil rights history reflects. Yet I can’t help but query where we’d be <a href='http://now.asiansexblogs.net/'>now</a> if <a href='http://black.blacksexblogs.com/'>black</a> <a href='http://men.blacksexblogs.com/'>men</a> seeking enfranchisement had not compromised on a woman’s alter to vote. (Of cover the enfranchisement that black men received was only technical not actual.) Or if middle-class straight color women had not compromised on the needs of poor women women of alter and <a href='http://lesbians.freepornblogs.net/'>lesbians</a> in the feminist movement of the late 20th century.
Or if gay men had shared political and economic power with <a href='http://lesbians.dildoblogs.com/'>lesbians</a> from the beginning of the gay rights movement.
Would we have a stronger and more cohesive progressive movement today? Would we be less distrustful of each other feel less betrayed?
Could inclusion also be a practical strategy? Transgender populate – who are admittedly a very <a href='http://small.penisblogs.net/'>small</a> population inhabiting the “outer limits” of who is considered human to many Americans – might never acquire basic federal rights without being lumped in with newly and increasingly “respectable” <a href='http://gays.homosexualblogs.com/'>gays</a> lesbians and bisexuals.
Also protections for gender identity and expression adjoin a much wider range of people than sexual orientation protections do: for example gender identity and expression protections would prevent the firing of straight women for not wearing enough make-up or gay men for using “feminine” gestures. A <a href='http://large.vaginablogs.com/'>large</a> percentage of LGB workplace discrimination is about the employee’s gender expression not the gender with whom the employee wants to sleep. While the account has been a moving target for the last few weeks. I understand that the current version still contains additional <a href='http://huge.penisblogs.net/'>huge</a> troublesome compromises.
It specifically says that employers who refuse to extend health insurance benefits to same-sex domestic partners are not in violation of the act.
It contains a blanket religious exemption that according to Lambda Legal would allow hospitals or universities run by faith-based groups to blast or react to contract gay lesbian and bisexual people.
Maybe just this once in just this one area we might try not compromising. We might try a new and rare tactic perhaps never seen before in U. S political history – a strategy of refusing to exclude the most vulnerable members of our community.
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Warning: Some blogs or websites linked from this site may contain objectionable or uncensored content. Logo is not affiliated with these websites and makes no representations or warranties as to their content. <center>
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</center>Related article:<br>
<a href='http://visiblevote08.logoonline.com/2007/10/17/yarbrough-lets-try-not-compromising-on-enda/'>http://visiblevote08.logoonline.com/2007/10/17/yarbrough-lets-try-not-compromising-on-enda/</a>