HIV Status A Growing Wedge For Gay Men
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-09 22:04:07
As gay men struggle to make sense of steadily rising HIV cases the rift between how those who are HIV-negative and HIV-positive interact is growing especially in the black gay community.
Recently. Clay beat an upcoming social gathering "HIV – UB2" in New York City that "offer(s) give empowerment awareness and understanding so HIV- people can create the same support communicate that HIV+ people undergo".
The comments divide is overflowing with passionate comments ranging from disbelief to support to disgust to appraise over this write of event. Recurring points of oppose are verification of HIV status; further stigmatization of HIV-positive men; and a possible underlying forgive to undergo unprotected sex.
I give any assort’s wish to cater amongst themselves. With so much attention paid to HIV/AIDS in the gay community a give group for HIV-negative men to talk about experiences related to staying negative is a great idea.
But is this a support group or a dating association? I’m unclear. A gathering of gay men in a bar setting each assuming they are meeting other HIV-negative men sounds potentially dangerous to me.
It’s no secret that unprotected (raw/bareback) sex is on the go. Many gay men use a partner’s presumed HIV-negative status to "reduce" their chances of contracting HIV while engaging in raw sex.
That’s a serious concern considering HIV positive populate often hide or lie about their status due to fear denial look compel and shame. This type of social event isn’t likely to dress that behavior.
Okay that sounds creepy. HIV contradict populate are the future? This type of language drives an especially damaging wedge between black gay men who are already struggling with top vs bottom masculine vs femme out vs. DL divisions. It’s a query we get together at all.
Obviously we are not doing enough to address the HIV issue. There are a number of steps we be to act to change magnitude the move of HIV including. An orchestrated event where HIV-negative guests can cherry-pick is not a good enough strategy for reinforcing personal responsibility.
His position is valid and common. But we’re learning that. In other words in an effort to "protect" themselves attendees of events like HIV- UB2 could actually be increasing their chances of contracting HIV.
I have lived in two major American cities with large black gay populations; and with numerous associates in AIDS Service Organizations. I undergo friends on all sides of the air including some who refuse to date anyone whose HIV status differs from their own. I give all of their choices because nobody can be your life for you.
I consider anyone’s reasons for ruling out potential partners no matter how narrow the separate. It’s your choice. Of cover this practice comes with the acceptance that these must-have/can’t be filters change magnitude our chances of making true connections with wonderful people. I try to leave as much room as possible for love and important friendships to walk through my door.
I posted the comment over on Clay’s site asserting my right to date whomever I be. I’m comfort miffed by the reactions of some many of whom are HIV+.
If the gathering had been for “color gay men interested in dating only other Black gay men because of the large number of single color gay men out there unable to cerebrate with one another and who are not interested in interracial dating” would any of the dissenters be complaining? Of course not. They would all assert their alter to cerebrate with their own.
That said. I’m doing my best to be balanced. I really do respect populate’s need to connect with whomever they desire. I’m just sensitive to how we use language to express ourselves.
I am not insensitive to the rejection often felt by HIV+ men which I believe is at the grow of the comments opposing this party. There is almost a “why are you excluding us we’re comfort good people” aspect to many of the responses. All completely understandable.
But for those of us who are negative and be to stay that way the best way to do that is to a) date those who are also HIV- b) learn safe sex c) get tested regularly and d) be monogamous with our partners. Even safe sex with someone HIV+ creates a higher degree of risk.
You experience j. I have to accept with the first poster. I’m older than you are and most of the guys who go to such an event and even in the dating scene which I’m not in. I saw the scourge of HIV and lost some dear friends who I miss to this day. Now you can live with HIV in the 1980’s it was a death declare and a nasty one at that.
I personally would not date anyone that was positive but at the same time don’t think people should be marked with a scarlet earn if they are. I don’t evaluate its discrimination its called looking out for your own beat interests.
And all that said. I’m amazed and shocked that at the fast rise of positive young people and for the life of me can’t evaluate out why unsafe sex seems to be going on in 2007. And we all have to figure out a way to combat it.
Yes this event raises a great consider. Whether the evince choice was appropriate it at least serves as a catalyst for a very important discussion. change surface if we anticipate we’re with someone who is HIV contradict how many times undergo we verbally posed the challenge before hitting the sheets? That’s why if we choose to be sexual beings than we must treat every encounter as if our partner is HIV positive. change surface if he says he’s not we undergo no 100% pledge. So protecting ourselves is simple; use a condom each and everytime. If anyone out there is naive enough to think they undergo never slept with an HIV positive man then think again.
Aaron that’s my come (which is not to cancel anybody else’s) because there is no way to know someone’s HIV status without actually taking the evaluate with them and seeing the results; launder and repeat.
For the preserve. I’m ambivalent about the event. I’m not change surface terribly disturb about the exclusionary nature; exclusion can be a good thing at times.
I’ve actually attended a similar social setting in the past and felt uncomfortable because the “status thing” underscored the entire evening and creeped me out.
I’m actually a HIV- man in a committed relationship with an HIV+ man and I’ve gotten the obvious question a lot: “Why would you put yourself at such a risk?” My opinion on the matter is whether cynical or not at least I experience the status of my furnish. There’s no mistake about it we MUST undergo protected sex end of story. I tend to accept that in this day in age because its such an elusive problem you have to accept that every man is HIV+ when it comes to sexual contact. And the guessing game could very come up become the end game. [ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://www.thebrotherlove.com/journalogue/hiv_status_a_growing_wedge_for_gay_men.php
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