The Wisdom Of Older Women, An Irish Diet, & A Broken Leg
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-17 20:08:39
Irish Diet An Irishman was terribly overweight so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days then skip a day and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you you should have lost at least 5 pounds." When the Irishman returned he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS! "Why that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?" The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though by jaesuz. I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day." "From ache you mean?" "No from friggin skippin' !"
I have been married 36 years. I took a look at my wife one day and said. "Honey. 36 years ago we had a cheap apartment no car no TV no money and slept on a sofa bed but I got to rest every night with a hot good looking 18 year old. Now we have a beautiful accommodate two nice cars king size bed money and a 50" screen TV but I'm sleeping with a 54 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 18 year old beautiful girl,.. and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment with no car no money and sleeping on a sofa bed. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis
So How Did You Break Your Leg? So how did you end your arm? Try to conceive of this as you construe it! Even if you aren't a skier you'll be able to acknowledge the humor of the slopes as written by a New Orleans cover: A friend just got back from a holiday skiing move to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were ameliorate...12 below no feeling in the toes basic numbness all over.. the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day. One of the women in the assort complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest dwell. He told her not to mind that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the create of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong of course and the hurt did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you then you experience that a temperature of 12 below doesn 't back up matters. With measure running out the woman weighed her options. Her husband picking up on the intensity of the pain suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice. He assured her. "The white ordain provide more than adequate camouflage." So she headed for the tree line began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope then you know there is a right way and do by way to set your skis so you don't move. Yup you got it!!! She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving.. even duri ng the most embarrassing moments. Without warning the woman open herself skiing backward out-of-control racing through the trees.. somehow missing all of them and onto another angle. Her derriere and the change side were still bare her pants down around her knees and she was picking up speed all t he while. She continued backwards totally out-of-control creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At desire last her husband arrived putting an end to her nudie show then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital. While in the emergency dwell a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So how'd you break your leg?" she asked making small talk. "It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly. I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward out-of-control drink the mountain with her bare bot tom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift." ... "So how'd you break your arm? I was thinking about how populate seem to construe the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. As for me. I'm just hoping God grades on the curve. [ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://www.realtown.com/JohnManiec/blog/clean-humor-precious-stories/wisdom-of-older-women
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